Emily's+story

Emily's story I’ve changed a lot as a person the past year or so, but in the beginning it was hard for me and my parents. It was especially tough for my mother, for she didn’t quite know what I was going through. Fortunately for me, we found someone for me to talk to (and I also escaped through writing and other random creative activities), but unfortunately she didn’t have someone to vent to. She desperately needed to express herself and did so to a few people she recently met through a weekly night church thing that she was sign language interpreting for. I had never met these people though, and was oblivious to the fact that she had been telling personal information about me to them. One night, as I was shutting down the computer, something caught my eye. It was her inbox and an unfamiliar address had sent her an email with “Emily’s problems” in the subject line. Curious, I opened it, only to be shocked by the contents. My trusted mother had betrayed me and told this random woman some secrets that I didn’t know that my mother knew of. Sure enough, I looked at my hidden (or so I has thought) journal and found its pages rustled and looked through. My mother had read my writings and misinterpreted them, and then relayed the private journalings to her new found ally. I remember just sitting there reading the lines over and over again; never once before feeling so betrayed. I couldn’t look my mother in the eye for a day or two; afraid that I wouldn’t blurt out what I knew in the wrong way. A few months back I finally admitted it (along with a few other things that we had been quarreling over). She felt that her privacy was entered, and I reminded her that she had left it open, unlike my hidden journal. We haven’t brought it up again, and I think that’s for the better. Dear Mom, I know you were entirely lost, and were desperate for anything to explain my downfall. I understand why you did it. But I don’t like it. In fact, I absolutely loathed you for it for awhile. I couldn’t get around that my own mother couldn’t trust my words and felt the need to find some other explanation. I was utterly hurt and felt backstabbed. I thought that I could at least trust my parents, even if I couldn’t fully trust myself. It happened in one of my many valleys, and I suppose has helped me get to this peak today. So even thought I don’t think what you did was right, I still thankful for the relationship we have now.